Quotes from Kill Me Now


Emily: We let Heidi go months ago. She had a problem closing things: the door, the refrigerator...
Richard: ...the liquor bottle.

Emily: You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs gathering dust along with the rest of her potential.

Lorelai: Rory, I love you, I would take a bullet for you, but I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you.
Rory: Fine.
Lorelai: I'd rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the clubs with you.
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Oh, I'd rather, um, get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the clubs with you.
Rory: Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe?
Lorelai: Would you? Thanks. I'd rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you.

Mrs. Shales: So, I have nothing to worry about.
Lorelai: Nope.
Mrs. Shales: Oh, there must be something.
Lorelai: Listen, I have everything under control. Why don't you go up to your room and have a fabulous bubble-bath and I'll send up some wine and a massuese who bears a remarkable resemblance to Antonio Banderas.
Mrs. Shales: How remarkable?
Lorelai: Get ready to applaud.
Mrs. Shales: This is my favorite place in the whole world.

Lorelai: It's like a really snooty Doublemint commercial.

Michel: I'm not talking them.
Lorelai: Yes, you are.
Michel: Well, I'm not talking to them nicely.

Lorelai: I can't talk about it anymore, it's making me too upset. Tell me something happy.
Sookie: I can't make the strawberry shortcake.
Lorelai: Wow, you suck at this game.

Mrs. Shales: Do you have children?
Lorelai: A daughter.
Mrs. Shales: Ah. Do you hate her?
Lorelai: No.
Mrs. Shales: Not ever?
Lorelai: Uh, well, I wasn't wildly fond of her during labor.
Mrs. Shales: That was the high point for me.

Richard: I suspect you have a yen to travel.
Rory: I'm up to my ears in yen.

Drella: Can't stand the talk, love to watch the walk.

Lorelai: Luke, I need the largest cheeseburger in the world. Let's break a record, mister.

Rory: By the end of the day I could even hit the ball. Sometimes it wasn't my ball, but the intentions were good.

Lorelai: It sounds like you really had a good time.
Rory: I did.
Lorelai: Really?
Rory: Really.
Lorelai: Really?
Rory: Really.
Lorelai: Really?
Rory: Okay, new word now.

Lorelai: Oh my God, you have good handwriting.
Rory: Thank you.
Lorelai: You did not get that from me. Your fabulous flair, you got from me.
Rory: I also go my deviated septum from you.
Lorelai: Hey, focus on the flair.


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